Elise Kelly
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Elise Kelly is a sophomore at Simon's Rock and The Weekly Cad's President and Director of Creative Publications. You can find Elise surrounded by sloths at all times. She would love to tell you about them. Her room is plastered with sloths. Sloths everywhere. Her room also contains a clown painting. The clown painting's name is Sorrow.
Elise's favorite article is The First Time We Met
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El Selberg
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Elizabeth Selberg is a first-year at Simon's Rock and the Vice President of The Weekly Cad. She labels herself a film major but has yet to make a good film. To be fair, however, the same can be said for most film majors. Elizabeth can be found weeping on Dien Vo's doorstep. She is also the main supplier of Benji's airhead addiction. Please do not approach Elizabeth quickly or she will start crying.
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Ani Laing
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Ani Laing is the Copy Editor for The Weekly Cad. You can find her obsessively checking for typos or dying her hair–often both at the same time. Blue hair, blue eyes, blue room, "blue lips, blue veins..." Ah, wait. That's Regina Spektor. The point being, she really likes blue.
Ani's favorite article is Game of Thrones Recap: S8EP1
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Cathy Zhang
Anna Loretan
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Anna Loretan is the Communications Director of The Weekly Cad, a somewhat unexpected position since she deeply fears both self-expression and being perceived. She is a junior trying to leave behind her dark past as an SR film kid to lead a life of civil service and co-writing emails. She doesn’t have horns irl, but she’ll never stop dreaming.
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Angus Finn MacLeod
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Angus Finn MacLeod is a Junior at Simon’s Rock and the Director of Opinions and Humor at The Weekly Cad. In his spare time, he can be found rambling incoherently about nonsense while people walk away, or delving far too deep into fictional lore. Sometimes you might see him staring off into space or at a saddening plate of food. If you ask him for an opinion or humor, he is likely to give an utterly humorless and neutral response.
Angus's favorite article is 5 Pranks that Would Have Been Better than Toilet Papering the Campus
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Garrison Funk
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Garrison Funk is the Director of Current Events and Sports Commentaries for The Weekly Cad. Funnily enough, Garrison doesn't play any sports other than the occasionally improvised badminton. Fun fact about Garrison: nearly all of the Simon's Rock student body has seen him in his underwear. There isn't an explanation. It just happens at one point or another. Additionally, Garrison eats an absurd amount of cream cheese. Like, a brick of it per day. He doesn't even put it on crackers; he just bites into it like a sandwich. His best friend's name is Zerdrill. His worst friend's name is Seth. He's a country boy through-and-through. That's Garrison, for you. Toodle-oo.
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Benjamin Kapit
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Benjamin "Benji Kapit" Kapit is The Weekly Cad's Director of Media. Benji has been working in film and photography for 32 years and recently returned from his seven month exploration of the fictional Game of Thrones castle, Winterfell. Ironically, he has only seen two episodes of Game of Thrones. Benji is known for being off task in every Cad meeting that he attends, as well as everywhere else in his life.
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Our Terrific Founders
Lexi Loyot is the Co-Founder and ex co-editor and technological director of the Weekly Cad. She somehow survived Bard Academy and lived to talk about it. You can find Lexi jumping into one of the campus ponds for money or attempting to punt the campus geese.
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Winnie Marion is the Co-Founder and Weekly Dad of The Weekly Cad as well as a survivor of the Academy. A disturbing fact about Winnie is that you can often find her eating ice. So much ice. Not ice cream. No. Frozen water.
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